I don’t do New Years Resolutions for the sheer fact that I would be setting myself up for failure. That being said, 2022 sucked! I was on “desk duty” due to a workers comp injury since February of last year and when I first started writing this post had just received a 6 week extension on my “sentence”. Sadly, I had to have a 3rd surgery at the end of February and that changed my desk duty sentence to “unable to accommodate your restrictions” duty and being at home for the last 8 weeks. I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth (not just my opinion) and I have been, more or less, stuck inside for the entirety of my residency here in Kodiak. To say I’m “over it” would be minimalizing my feelings towards that. But, I do know that God’s got my back and has a plan for all of this.

Where am I going with this you ask? Well, when I was thinking about the things I wanted for Christmas (my sister felt my Amazon list was underwhelming) I thought, man, I could really use new pots and pans. My roommate, at the time, asked why when I had a cabinet full. To which I responded, I just needed to clear the clutter out of the cabinets and start fresh. *BAM* It then hit me that for the next year I’m going to focus on “clearing the clutter” from my life in every way I can. My mom and I were talking around that time and she ask if I had any resolutions for the new year. I told her, “NO! But I have a goal to ‘Clear the Clutter’ in my life in every way I possibly can over the next year.” She agreed it would be a great approach to take….not that she’s “allowed” to disagree..haha!

It’s now 5 days shy of being May, and I don’t think I realized the magnitude of the clutter I’d be clearing out of my life so early in the year. While it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, I know I’ll be better for it when it’s all said and done. I’ve spent weekend and week days focused on deep cleaning and re-organizing my home how I like it for me and my dogs. It’s been a super daunting task, but it’ll feel GREAT when it’s all said and done. I truly cannot thank my mom enough for flying up here to Kodiak (for the first time) to be by my side as I work through the messiness of life! I went from almost paralyzed from all the trauma going on in my life, to moving in a forward motion. While the word “trauma” seems like a dramatic word to use, it’s the only thing that sincerely describes the last 7 years of my life. Some day I may unpack that on here, but for now, let’s just take it for what it is.

It’s slowly starting to feel a bit more like spring here. However, the forecasted snow for tomorrow adds to the knowledge that we really get a false spring before we truly get the real spring. Signs of new life/new beginnings are starting to pop up all over though, including a single purple flower that decided to spring up in the middle of my front lawn. I’ll take that as a Godwink!

While I would really like to get back to the hustle and bustle of work, I keep being told I need to “rest”. At first I just told people I was tired of “resting” and I needed to get up and move! Then, I came to realize that the rest I needed wasn’t physical, but mental, psychological and, more than the other two, spiritual. Resting in the understanding that in this time of waiting that my life has been in, I need to rest in knowing God’s got this and I need to lay everything down and TRUST that He will make his path known. “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3 ESV

While my heart has been heavy in the last 3 months, the fog is slowly lifting and things are starting to clear up a bit. My journey through this season isn’t going to be a short one, but I have hope that through perseverance and prayer that it will get easier as time moves forward.